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Emotional investment is an immediate turn off❌
Immediate emotional investment is a turn off✅
I see a lot of people claiming that it's all about discrepancy and that people need to tone down their emotional investment or turn it up because they're too cold. Saying things like "it's creepy" or "you don't care". But the reality is that… we shouldn't force people to change themselves…
I mean this to say… don't over think how much investment you put into someone. Sure going too hard immediately is hard for the other person to deal with so if you have that issue try and fix it or mitigate how you confess to someone BUT. Ultimately it's not about changing who you are. If you love strongly then that's who you are and vice-versa, don't change it because others can't deal, that's 100% their issue, don't let them make it yours. Instead find someone who likes YOU for being YOU, there are people out there like that. My luck with women was never good but the two women I did fall for were amazing and beautifull in their own right, they just… didn't like me as much as I liked them. But that's a sign they weren't the one for me, not that I'm not worthy of their love, or was being too intense.
Just don't get swept up by people in these comments telling you to change into someone else because they think it's creepy and can't handle it. There's nothing wrong with feeling strongly, or less than others. The only thing you can do is be respectful and gentle when confessing. Everything else is up to the other person.
They don’t want you as much as you want them and vice versa. Should that not be an immediate signal that things wont work? Or are people excessively willing to put in extra effort in hopes things will change?
I think it’s kinda fucking wonderful kinda sad kinda cool, how this wonderful channel changes from time to time. There was a wonderful mature era but I feel like maybe those who listened and got what they needed from this great man got what they wanted/needed and moved on…. I can see this getting harder and harder for him with more and more depressed people continually staying tuned.
As a therapist, I have seen a real change in the last decade or so. I think that the increase of social media induced bpd and npd has increased this perception. I hate you don’t leave me! Emotional dysregulation is on the rise and this probably impacts the number of people exposed to the cringe discrepancy. Thanks for addressing this issue!
@nicolebro8399
I've never felt that though. I'm not sure I'd ever fall in love, does everyone feel that stuff or is it just most people😂 I bet there's a reason behind it but curious fr